Ethel Morton and the Christmas Ship, by Mabell S. C. Smith [part 3 of 3]

Here is the last badly-written section that I will critique in these posts:

"I wish she could grow as plump as Della Watkins."

"I saw Tom Watkins yesterday," said James.

"What was a haughty New Yorker doing on the Jersey side of the Hudson?"

"It seems he boards Cupid and his family at the Rosemont Kennels—you know they're half way between here and Glen Point. He was going to call on them."

"Dear Cupid!" laughed Margaret, recalling the bulldog's alarming face which ill agreed with his mild name and general behavior. "Let's go over to the Kennels and see him some day."

"His wife is named Psyche," went on James, "and they have two pups named Amor and Amorette."

"I should think Cupid's puppy would be the funniest little animal on earth," roared Roger. "Never, never shall I forget the day old Cupe ran away with his market wagon," and he kicked his legs with enthusiasm.

 Look at that third sentence of the last quotation. Another information dump, this time in miniature. That is not how people talk in real life! And if it is not how people talk in real life, it has no place in realistic fiction. Tom comes back into the story later, so it would not be hard to show that he is haughty. Show, don't tell. That's the advice that all good writers give.  A normal person would say, I suppose, "What was he doing there?" 

Right after that, there's more unnecessary information! (No surprise there.) Why does the reader need to know the name of the kennels where a yet-unknown character boards his dogs? We still don't know much of anything about the four children sitting on the porch! And we still don't know about the immediate family of most of the cast. But we do know the names of a family of four bulldogs. 

Well, I could go on and on about this book. But I will close with one more thought: it bothers me that two of the characters are named Ethel Blue Morton* and Ethel Brown Morton. It does, however, raise an interesting question-- which Ethel is the eponymous one? Or is it both? I'd probably know if I read the whole book.** But I don't want to.

* Interestingly, there is a substance called methyl blue, a stain.

**Or "all the books in the series." I was disturbed to discover that there are at least five books in the Ethel Morton series.